


flirting 101

by carrionkid



Series: tumblr requests 2018 [6]
Category: Marvel (Comics), X-Force (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Awkward Flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 09:26:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14931605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrionkid/pseuds/carrionkid
Summary: prompt: Hi. I would love to see some early X-Force Shatterstar not comprehending when people are doing the Flirt, because What Is That and also Why?shatterstar's weird about physical contact, ric doesn't know how to explain flirting, and tabitha's answer to everything is some mild violencethis is a fic in which i had to straight up google 'flirting body language' and took a solid 30 seconds to just go 'what the /fuck/' so. yeah.--Bowling isn’t exactly fun, but it’s one of the few things to do in town and Tabs had some fake IDs so they could at least get a little drunk while bowling. Shatterstar’s here because Ric’s on a mission to make him a little more normal. It’s like the advanced version of getting stuck with the weird kid in kindergarten.“I did not want to be here,” Shatterstar’s voice raises slightly; he’s always pretty loud without actually shouting.





	flirting 101

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FluffyLlamacorn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyLlamacorn/gifts).



“You should have let me bring my swords.”

 

Shatterstar’s pacing on the sidewalk, back and forth and back and forth, as close to frantic as Ric’s ever seen him. That’s saying  _ a lot  _ considering he’s seen the guy stab himself in the stomach.

 

“Dude, you don’t need them.”

 

“Yes, I do. I need them, I need them to be  _ certain. _ ”

 

Rictor sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers, “Let me rephrase, you can’t bring your swords to a bowling alley, even if you need them.”

 

Bowling isn’t exactly fun, but it’s one of the few things to do in town and Tabs had some fake IDs so they could at least get a little drunk while bowling. Shatterstar’s here because Ric’s on a mission to make him a little more normal. It’s like the advanced version of getting stuck with the weird kid in kindergarten.

 

“I did not want to be here,” Shatterstar’s voice raises slightly; he’s always pretty loud without actually shouting.

 

“I know that.”

 

“You  _ made  _ me come here.”

 

“I know that,  _ too, _ ” Rictor sighs again.

 

He’s thinking this might be more trouble than it’s worth. It’s not the first time he’s had that thought and it sure as hell won’t be the last time.

 

Shatterstar makes a guttural, clawing noise from the back of his throat, “Why would someone  _ do that? _ ”

 

“Oh my god,” Ric’s eyes go wide, “Were you gonna  _ stab her?! _ ”

 

Shatterstar huffs and starts pacing again. Rictor’s not sure if it’d be better or worse if Tabs was out here with them. She might have a better idea of what to say, or she might make the situation ten times worse.

 

He gives Shatterstar a dark look, “If you had your swords, would you have stabbed that girl?”

 

Shatterstar makes a drawn out, annoyed noise, something halfway to a groan, “It is not wise to approach someone without making your presence known.”

 

“ _ STAR!  _ That is  _ exactly  _ why letting you bring your swords everywhere is a fucking terrible idea!”

 

Shatterstar finally stops pacing, apparently replacing the action by rubbing the palm of his hand against the skin of his other arm. It’s a methodical action, elbow up to shoulder, shoulder down to elbow. 

 

“Look, Star, do you wanna go home? ‘Cos I can grab Tabs and we can--”

 

“I do not  _ understand, _ ” Shatterstar cuts him off, “I do not understand  _ why.” _

 

Rictor drags his hands down his face, “Dude.  _ Dude.  _ She was flirting with you. You gotta know what that is, with all the TV you watch.”

 

“Flirting is  _ supposed  _ to be enjoyable, yes?”

 

“Well, yeah, I guess?”

 

Shatterstar wrinkles his nose, “Physical contact without warning from an unknown is  _ not  _ enjoyable.”

 

“It… It wasn’t exactly without warning, dude,” Ric runs a hand through his hair, this is way more than he bargained for on a Thursday night, “She was totally coming onto you basically the entire night.”

 

Shatterstar’s too stubborn to ever admit he might’ve overreacted, but the silence is more than enough to get the point across. Rictor’s work is cut out for him and he’s got a long way to go to help Shatterstar be more normal.

 

“Look,” he says, trying to sound a little more understanding, “Most people won’t listen to you talk about the Silence of the Lambs for almost an hour unless they think they’re gonna get something out of it.  _ Especially  _ if you just met them.”

 

Shatterstar looks at him, eyes narrowed, “Is that why  _ you  _ listen to me?”

 

This is not a discussion Ric wants to be having. He does  _ not  _ want the extremely weird and unattainably hot alien gladiator guy he lives with to be asking him if Rictor’s flirting with him. He doesn’t even want to  _ think  _ about that. At least Tabs isn’t around to hear this.

 

“No,” Ric makes it halfway to laughing, “I listen to you because you’ve got weird opinions about the kinda shit I like.”

 

Shatterstar hums; it’s the one he usually makes when he’s thinking. Rictor’s a little bit nervous at what he could be thinking  _ about.  _ He’s not sure what Shatterstar’s ever thinking about, but he’s hoping it’s not flirting and Rictor and Rictor flirting.

 

“Y’know,” he starts, still trying to sound open, “You can usually tell from the way people are talking.”

 

That probably doesn’t help much because Shatterstar’s  _ scarily  _ monotone a majority of the time. Unless he’s excited or quoting something, you really have to listen for the words he stresses. The fact he was so excited at first is probably the only reason he got hit on in the first place. He’s good-looking but everything else about him is kinda weird.

 

“Like if she’s talking kinda slow and quiet or laughing a lot. And if she’s  _ really  _ smiley. Or she starts getting handsy,” Ric’s eyes flick over to Shatterstar.

 

He’s still rubbing at his arm. It’s gotten to the point where the skin’s starting to get red.

 

Rictor sighs, stepping a little closer to Shatterstar, “Are you, like, okay? ‘Cos it looks like you’re trying to rub your skin off.”

 

Shatterstar doesn’t look at him, answering in the form of a really uncomfortable sounding noise.

 

“If you don’t wanna be here anymore, you can tell me.”

 

Shatterstar still doesn’t want to answer; Rictor’s about ready to give up and just say they’re going home.

 

“What the  _ fuck  _ are you guys doin’ out here?” 

 

Ric almost jumps at the sound of Tabs behind him; she’s loud but she can definitely sneak up on you if she wants to.

 

“Like, the bowling guy was totally ready to kick me out even though I kept covering for you guys. I took at least three turns for each of you,” she’s got her hands on her hips and she’d almost look angry if she wasn’t trying to blow a strand of her hair out of her eyes.

 

“Star’s learning about flirting,” Ric shrugs, “It’s not an easy thing to teach.”

 

Tabs rolls her eyes, “It’s  _ totally  _ easy.”

 

“Fine, you wanna try?” He throws his hands up, “Have at it.”

 

“Okay,” Tabs says, leaning back against the wall by Shatterstar, “If you’re hot, like me, then people are gonna hit on you a lot. And it gets pretty annoying, ‘cos people get so distracted by how you look that they forget you’re, like, an actual person.”

 

Ric buries his face in his hands. This is going terribly. At least it looks like Shatterstar’s stopped rubbing his arm raw.

 

“So, if someone starts getting skeevy with you and they won’t listen when you tell ‘em to fuck off, it’s totally okay to punch them in the face so they leave you alone. That’s not, like, a law or anything, but it  _ should  _ be.”

 

“Don’t tell him that,” Ric groans, “He was totally ready to stab that girl. You’re a terrible influence.”

 

“Damn right I am!” Tabitha laughs, “But Ric’s right, don’t do anything that ends in internal damage ‘cos then someone’ll press charges. Besides, where’s the fun in that? If you give someone a wicked black eye, everyone knows they got punched for being a creep.”

 

“Tabs, stop telling Shatterstar that it’s okay to hurt people. Cable just got him to stop murdering people on missions.”

 

“I feel that force is sometimes justified,” Shatterstar offers.

 

“Not when someone puts their hand on your shoulder, dude, that’s basically the bare minimum of physical contact.”

 

“Don’t listen to Ric,” Tabitha crosses her arms, turning to face Shatterstar, “We all gotta have boundaries, even if yours are weird. Anyway, most strangers who hit on you are creeps, but either you’ll get a hot date for the night or you’ll get to punch someone so it’s, like, totally a win-win situation. Trust me.”


End file.
